actual fact.

Okay, I can't sleep. and I just got wakened up automatically.

I used to tell myself not to fall so deep, not to trust you so much, not to love you too much, not to give in so much, and not to put in so much. because in the end, I would get hurt and you would leave. that's why you always said that I don't trust you. not because I don't want to trust you, because I'm scared of getting hurt, I'm scared of one sided love. I'm scared of having you leaving me. yes. I'm scared.
they said that it was only puppy love. they said that we will never last. they said that you were just a player. they said that you don't really love me.
in actual fact, was all this true?
I guess, I will only agree to half of it, the other half was fake.

thinking of what we used to have, thinking of the past relationship I got into. thinking of how I used to fall and get crushed on some guys.

it made me scared of loving someone else again. it made me have a phobia of loving someone.

one sided love. cheated love. puppy love. true love. triangle love.

isnt all this what's that people want and scared of?

I advise people, maybe my junior, never to get into a relationship at a young age because it kills, it caused you unnecessary distruption and hurt, because you are still young and there's no need to rush into one.

the time I break with you, the wasn't any tears, until I started thinking about it I cried, everytime I think about it, all I can do is crying, wishing that it didn't turned out like that, hoping that time would change back so that I wouldn't make the same mistake.

but, I know....that all this wouldn't happen, I must used this as a lesson learn. I must learn to let go and move on. I know I can do it, but people, you gotta know that it's hard, it's way too hard to forget someone who you once love, it's hard to forget those memories youre holding on too. those happy times.