after all we have been through, you were still holding on, standing firm and strong, thanks baby, thanks for all the chances you have givent me no matter how many mistake i made. i am sorry for hurting once and once again. i aint a good girlfriend actually, too many thoughts on my mind, too many think i am thinking off, i dont know why its feel like its troubling me, it is me who cause all these extra thoughts, but it was also a good thing actually, whatever i said that you dont agree really pissed you off, that is what i can tell. yeah! i cant see that you really cherish this relationship alot for all your ex, thanks for lasting with me for so long, i finally broke your record of your longest relationship (Y) haha.
after thinking back what has happen, i just realised that after ecery quarrel you would want to see me, why is it so? the answer to myself was because, you were scared to lose me, because you know that one day if i couldnt take it i would leave, and you wanted to know that i'm still by your side with you. whether this answer i have is correct or wrong it lies within you.
you always know when i needed you the most, you always know how to make me happy, you always know that you will be there if i got any problem. but i dont know, all i know is stand and wait there waiting for something to happen to you and hear you out, i never once leave.
you told me before if i leave you, you will do silly things, and you told me before that you will wait for me, but baby you gotta to know that once i leave i aint turning back like what you did, i wont be soft hearted anymore, i wont be nice, and you will see a 180 degree change in me, i will no longer be the same girl i use to be. there's so many thing i wish you would know.
1. i aint as strong as before
2. stop making me disappointed
3. dont joke around about things you know that will cause a quarrel
4. i am still scared of losing you
5. dont ever go around flirting other girls
6. never cheat on me, if you do these, there is no room for anything
7. when i am tired of everything, i will leave
8. i get tempremental and moodswing easily, and you gotta give in to me
9. i never wanted you to leave
10. i will love you no matter what happen
shall be heading to thailand on 12dec with grandparents, during baby chalet, its sometime off from each other, that is what i really needed the most, after so long, but i gotta admit both of us need a break off.
and baby agreed to meet me before we go off and when i come back, which is probably a few hours before my birthday, crap much! but still that is what he say, and celebrating our 7th month together, i seriously hope he can spend the 3days with me before i head off to thailand. gonna miss him much plus parents and brothers, gonna get lots of shirts and some soveniors? heh! and see whats there to get baby and parents, brother? not buying for them >< kekeke~ shall buy toys >< gonna spend spend spend!